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Practical Instructions tor 
Private Theatricals 



By W. D, EMERSON 



Author of "A Country Romance,'' "The Unknown Kival ** 
*• Humble Pie," etc. 



Price, 25 cents 



Here is a practical hand-took, describing in detail all the 
accessories, properties, scenes and apparatus neces-sary for an 
amateur production. In addition to the descriptions in words, 
everything is clearly shown in the numerous pictures, more 
than one hundred being inserted in the book. Ko such useful 
book has ever been ofifered to the amateur players of any 
country. 

CONTENTS 

Chapter T. Introductory Remarks, 

Chapter II. Stage, How to Make, etc. In drawing-rooms 
or parlors, with sliding or hinged doors. In a single large 
room. The Curtain; how to attach it, and raise it, etc. 

Chapter III. Arrangement of Scenery. How to hang it. 
Drapery, tormentors, wings, borders, drops. 

Chapter IV. Box Scenes. Center door pieces, plain wings, 
door wings, return pieces, etc. 

Chapter V. How to Light the Stage. Oil, gas and electric 
light. Footlights, Sidelights, Reflectors. How to darken the 
stage, etc. 

Chapter VI. Stag^ Effects. Wind, Rain, Thunder, Break- 
ing Glass, Falling Buildings, Snow, Water, Waves, Cascades, 
Passing Trains, Lightning, Chimes, Sound of Horses' Hoofs, 
Shots. 

Chapter VII. Scene Painting. 
Chapter VIII. A Word to the Property Man. 
Chapter IX. To the Stage Manager. 
Chapter X. The Business Manager. 

Address Orders to 
THE DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMPANY 

CHICAGO. Xi,INOIS 



George Has a Grouch 
on Sisters 



A MONOLOGUE 



BY 

MARY IMONCURE PARKER 



Copyright, 1913, by The Dramatic Publishing Company 



CHICAGO 
THE DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMPANY 



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TMP96-006870 



CI.D 83404 



George Has a Grouch on Sisters 

A ^MONOLOGUE 
By ]\Iary ]\roNCURE Parker 

Ah, say, if a feller had the arrangin' of things, they'd 
be mighty darn diffrunt in this world, I tell you. You 
could play ball in the middle of the street without havin' 
to keep a lookout for the cop ev'ry ten minutes— and 
there wouldn't be no cranky old dames yellin' for you 
to keep off their little two by four grass plats— an' your 
Dad would smile an' say, "Oh, that's all right, Sonny- 
be careful next time"— when he had to fork out the 
coin fer a busted plate glass winder. Say— if my 
father 'd ever say that to me just onct instead of tellin' 
me I was drivin' him to the Poorhouse an' would land 
ill jail— I'd drop dead of heart failure— Honest to Good- 
ness I would! 

I wisht we lived up in Greenland or one of them cold 
countries where they have whale's blubber for winder 
panes— an' my 'lowance wouldn't go so quick. 

I'd fix vacations for eight months an' school fer four 
—an' we'd have turkey an' ice-cream ev'ry day— an' 
Gee! no Dancin' School; if I arranged this world— an' 
you wouldn't have to take a bath, an' I wouldn't have 
no older sisters bossin' me— an '—ah— wake up— what's 
the use of havin' a pipe dream! Ev'ry body looks at 
children an' says they has a snap— an' some old moke 



4 GEOKGE HAS A GEOUCH ON SISTERS 

pats you on the head an' says, "Ah, my boy — these is 
the happy days ! ' ' Gosh ! he must have a good f ergetter. 

Sunday mornin' when the rest of the fambly wants to 
sleep cause they been out L'lte Sat'da}^ night — then they 
hustles you off to Sunday School an' you has to do the 
religious stunt fer the whole darn bunch — an' they think 
you aint wise to the game. They'd ruther be Pagins 
an' sleep. 

An' why I don't like sisters is they don't mind their 
own bizness — one of 'em hollers out, "]\Ia, George's put 
on a clean collar without washing his neck,"— and if you 
say, "Ah, gwan an' mind your own bizness" — she calls 
out — "i\Ia, George is very impert'nent" — she gets that 
word somewheres out of the dictshunery, an' thinks it's 
smart to spring it on the fokes 'bout you. Then you 
have to take off your collar an wash — or may be before 
you dress they go snoopiu' around in the bath-room to 
see if you get clear in the tub — then Ma makes you take 
a regler soap bath. Sometimes you can get even when 
Ma's out of hearin', by sayin — "Well, you must a set 
up pretty late with that bow-legged cheap skate bow of 
yourn, cause w^hy you're so cranky." 

An' you'd most take a lickin' for gettin' in that shot 
an' seein' your sister get mad. Why is it your sister 
alius likes them pinheads? An' not only that, but they 
want to set an' google at 'em on the sofa — an' they don't 
want you 'round causs your feet's muddy or yonr hair 
aint brushed or you might say somethin' — gee — your 
sister talks language to them mutts, an' her voice is soft 
an' ev'ry little while she gurgles — an' she's all fussed 
up with a ribbon in her hair an' a lot of puffs an' 
curls — an' j^ou want to tell the feller if you're sore at 
her — that she aint like that regler — she's jest puttin' 
on, an' in the mornin' she wears a ole kimonna an' her 



GEORGE HAS A GROUCH ON SISTERS . 5 

hair in curl kids, only you don't darst tell cause of 
3^our Pa. 

Why is it a feller's more skeered of his Pa than his 
^la ? Sometimes I answers ]\Ia back, but when Pa scolds 
I jest stands an' soaks it in — course sometimes I'm 
bustin' to say somethin' — but I don't very often. 

Guess wliy I'm sore 'bout ev'ry thing is this. One 
of my sisters married one of them pinheads — a regler 
rah-rah college boy with turn-up trousers and pomp'- 
clour hair. Well, she went away to live an' I didn't see 
her fer most two years, an' then they come home fer 
a visit an' brung a kid. 

Say, that kid wan't much to look at — bald an' kind 
of blinky eyed, but it was the w^hole show and then 
some. Ev'ry body set round an' gazed an' worshipped 
like 'twas one of them little Billikens, an' Pa an' Ma 
giggled at it and said, "Goo — Goo" — "See your Gram- 
pa an' Gramma," an' the kid let out a howl like it 
didn't give a durn. Nobody looked at me. Say — I 
wasn't as much as a one-legged guy at a foot-ball game. 
An' Mary Ann, that's our hired girl, the one we got 
now — we're alius changin'— Ma says it's cause of me — 
they gotter blame somebody — w^ell Mary Ann says, "Ah, 
now, too bad fer you, Garge; yer nose is out of jint 
agin." An' I says, "Cut that out now, or I'll give 
you a swift push in the mug," an' then I skiddoes for 
j\Iary Ann's got some muscle, believe me. 'Twas even 
worse when they noticed me, an' says — "Come baby, 
kiss 00 Unkie" — ah, that talk makes you sick — an' the 
kid had a wet mouth an' spit on my cheek. I didn't 
want to be a uncle anyway. An' Sister's husband, he 
says, "If you're real good, George" — an' I thought he 
was goin' to give me a quarter — fat chanst with that 
pinhead — "you can wdieel the baby in his buggy." 



6 GEOBGE HAS A GEOUCH ON SISTERS 

An' everybody said "Won't that be lovely!" Like 
you couldn't see through they was wantin' to shake the 
kid fer awhile. 

I couldn't say no, cause tlicy was comp'uy, an' Ma 
says, "For Hevens sake try to l)ehavc till they're gone." 

I wheeled the buggy up an' down an' the fellers stood 
and guyed me. "Oh, look at Unkie" — "Where's your 
apron nurse?" They was playin' safe cause I couldn't 
leave the kid. But, believe me. Sliver 'n Fat's got 
somethin' comin' to 'em. I wanted to chuck the whole 
thing in the alley, but you couldn't hurt a little guy 
like a ])aby. 

Guess I've got somethin' to be thankful for — cause 
my sisters is growed up — cause Bob Miller is alius 
gittin' licked fer teasin' his little sister, an' she tells 
on him an' he pulls her hair an' hides her books an' 
then she tells some more an' they never get even. I'd 
ruther have my kid brother 'cause he's a good little 
scout — bet your life he aint no tell-tale. I aint got but 
one sister left to kick about my keepin' rabbits in the 
basement an' playin' army in the yard. We had a 
circus onct an' I was clown an' rode a real live pony 
round the yard and Pa raised a howl cause the grass 
was all wore off, an' he said the place was all goin' to 
rack an' ruin cause of me. An' I said twant no worse 'n 
wearin' out the furniture settin' roun' with mutts like 
my sisters did, an' then I got a lickin'. That's wh}^ I 
most alius soaks in what Pa says an' don't say much. 
Pa was sore that day anyhow cause he got stuck on a 
trade— an' he took it out on me. Say, believe me, I'm 
the goat. One day Ma made a turrible fuss 'cause we 
had two live ducks sent i'rom the country an' Mary 
Ann put 'em in the basement till the butcher could kill 
'em next day. An' when ]\Ia came home from a card- 



GEOEGE HAS A GROUCH ON SISTERS 7 

party I had the ducks swimmin' round in the bath-tub 
an' sister hollered out, ''You dreadful boy, what '11 you 
do next?" an' the ducks was squawkin' an' flai)pin' 
their wings an' throwin' the w^ater all round an' havin' 
a bully time, an' I said — "Ah, Gee — I thought I'd give 
'em one more good time before they died tomorrow." 

Honest, sister aint got no heart — Honest to goodness 
she aint ! 'Taint so bad no"\v, though, cause this sister 
'at's left don't kick much only on my grammer. Who 
made. up Grammer anyw^ay? I don't see why it ain't 
as good to say, "I ain't saw a man" as it is to say, "I 
ain't seen a man." 

Oh, well, maybe I've got a grouch — 'cause you'd never 
guess why. I'm kinder lonesome fer my sister's little 
kid. Funny I never missed him till he went away. But 
after all, your fokes is your fokes. He couldn't he'p 
hissef much, that little guy. Seems queer he'd ever get 
big and strong like me. He was kind of a cute little 
cuss, after all. IMaybe your fokes is kinder mean to 
you — but maybe they aint as mean as other fokeses 
fokes is. Ah — Gee — if that kid was here now I'd let 
him spit on my cheek. 



JUN 2 1913 



Because I Love You 

Drama in Fout Acts 

By JOHN A. ERASER 

Author of "A Woman's Honor," "A Noble Outcast," "A Modern 

Ananias," "Santiago," etc. 

Price, 25 cents 

Eight male, four female characters. Plays two hours. Modern 
costumes. This is probably the strongest drama written of the 
modern romantic style. It is a pure love story and its sentiment 
and pathos are of the sterling, honest kind which appeals to every 
man and woman with a human heart. The stage business will be 
found extremely novel, but easily accomplished. The climaxes are 
all new and tremendously effective. One climax especially has 
never been surpassed. 

CAST OF CHARACTERS 
Imogene Courtleigh. Wilful, wayward and wealthy... .Juvenile lead 

Ginger. A Gypsy waif Soubrette 

Nance Tyson. Her supposed mother Character 

Prudence Freeheart. A poor relation Old maid comedy 

Horace Verner. An artist and accidentally a married man 

Juvenile lead 

Dick Potts. His chum and incidentally in love with Ginger 

Eccentric comedy 

Irat Courtleigh. Imogene's guardian Heavy 

Buck Tyson. A Gypsy tinker Character comedy 

Elmer Van Sittert. Anglomaniac, New Yorker Dude comedy 

Major Duffy. County Clerk and Confederate veteran 

Irish comedy 

Squire Ripley. A Virginia landlord Character old man 

Lige. A gentleman of color Negro character 

Note: Squire Ripley and Van Sittert may double. 

SYNOPSIS OF SCENES 

Act 1. "The George Washington," a country tavern in old Vir- 
ginia. An impromptu wedding. "When I was on the boards at 
old Pott's theayter." "Horace has fallen in love and has doae 
nothing but rave about her ever since." "The marriage ceremony 
performed, I depart, and you will make no attempt ever to see me 
again." "Except at your own request, never!" 

Act 2. Lovers' Leap, a Blue Mountain precipice. A daring res- 
cue. "Gold does not always purchase happiness, lady." "Do you 
ever feel the need of a faithful friend?" "I do, I do, I'm thinking of 
buying a bulldog." "Look at the stride of him, and Imogene 
sitting him as if he were a part of herself." Within twenty feet 
of certain death. "Gone? Without even ray thanks for such a 
deed of desperate heroism?" 

Act. 3. The Courtleigh Place. A woman's folly. "And you say 
Ibis father was a gentleman?" "I have already refused to sign the 
document." "Stand back, she is my wife." 

Act. 4. The "Mountain Studio." "You're too good to let that 
French girl get you." "I struck him full in the face and the chal- 
lenge followed," "You will not meet this man, dear love?" "It 
shall, at least, be blow for blow." "I'll release you from your 
promise. Fight that man." "I'm the happiest man in old Vir- 
frinia, because you love me." 

Address Orders to 
THE DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMPANY 

CHICAGO. ILLINOIS 



Hageman's Make-Up Book 

By MAURICE HAGEMAN 

Price, 25 cents 

The importance of an effective make-no is becoming: more appar- 
ent to the professional actor every year, but liitherto tlaere has been 
no bool^ on the subject describing the muderm methods and at tht 
Sc>me time covering all branches of the art. This want has novt 
been filled. Mr. Hageman has had an experience of twenty years 
as actor and stage-manager, and his weli-kiiown literary ability lias 
enabled him to put the knowledge so gained into shape to be of 
use to otheis. The book is an encyclopedia of the art of making up 
Every branch of the subject is exhaustively treated, and few ques- 
tions can be asked by pi of essior.al or amateur that cannot be an- 
swered by this admirable hand-book. It is not only tlie best make* 
up book ever published, but it is not likely to be superseded by 
any other. It is absolutely indispensable to every ambiiious actor. 

CONTENTS 

Chapter I. General Remarks. 

Chauter II. Grease-Paints, their origin, components and use. 

Chapter III. The Make-up Box. Grease-Paints, Mirrors, Face 
Powaer and Puff, Exora Cream, Rouge, l^iquid Color, Grenadine. 
Blue tor the Eyelids, Brilliantine for the Hair, Nose Putty, Wig 
Paste. Mascaro. Crape Hair, Spirit Gum. Scissors, Artists' Stomps. 
Coid Cream, Cocoa Butter, Recipes for Cold Cream. 

Chapter IV. Preliminaries before iViaking up; the Straight Make- 
up and how to remove it. 

Chapter V. Remarks to Ladies. Liquid Creams, Rouge, Lips, 
Eyebrows, Evelashes, Character Roles, Jewelry, Removing Make-up 

Chapter VI. Juveniles. Straight Juvenile Make-up, Society 
Men, Young Men in 111 Health, wilh Red Wigs, Rococo Make-up, 
Hands, Wrists, Cheeks, etc. 

Chaptf^r VII. Adults, Middle Aged and Old Men. Ordinary Type 
of Manhood, Lining Colors, Wrinkles, Rouge, Sickly and Healthy 
Old Ace, Ruddy Complexions. 

Chapter VIII. Comedy and Character Make-ups. Comedy Ef • 
j^ects. Wigs, Beards, Evebiows. Noses. Lips, Pallor of Death. 

Chapter IX. The Human Fe-atures. The Mouth and Lips, the 
Eyes and Eyelids, the Nose, tlie Chin, the Ear, the Teeth. 

Chapter X. Other Exposed Parts of the Human Anatomy. 

Chapter XI. Wigs, Bearas, Moustaches, and Eyebrows. Choosing 
a Wig, Powdering the Hair, Dimensions for Wigs, Wig Bands, Ba;d 
Wigs, Ladies' Wigs, Beaixls on Wire, on Gauze. Crape Hair, Wool. 
Beards for Tramps, Moustaches, Eyebrows. 

Chapter XII. Distinctive and Traditional Characteristics. North 
American Indians, New England Farmers. Hoosiers, Southerners, 
Politicians, Cowbovs, Minors, Quakers, Tranaps, Creoles, Mulattoes, 
Quadroons, Octoroons. Negroes. Soldiers during War, Soldiers dur- 
ing feace, Scouts, Pathfinders, Puritans, Early Dutch Settlers. 
Englislim.en, Scotchmen, Irishmen, Frenchmen, Italians, Spaniards, 
Portuguese, South Americans, Scandinavians, Germans, Hollanders 
Hungarians. Ginsies, Russians, Turks, Arabs, Moors, Caftirs, Abya- 
sinians. Hindoos, Malays, Chinese, Japanese, Clowns and Statuary, 
Hebrews, Drunkards, Lunatics, Idiots, Misers, Rogues. 

Address Orders to 
THE DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMPANY 

CHICAGO. ILLINOIS 



play;« 



LSl.S'^ CONGRESS 




And Entertainment Books. 

^SJEING the largest theatrical booksellers in 
-W the United States, we keep in stock the most 
complete and best assorted lines of plays and en- 
tertainment books to be found anywhere. 

We can supply any play or book pub- 
lished. We have issued a catalogue of the best 
plays and entertainment books published in 
America and England. It contains a full 
description of each play, giving number of char- 
acters, time of playing, scenery, costumes, etc. 
This catalogue will be sent free on application. 

The plays described are suitable for ama- 
teurs and professionals, and nearly all of them 
may be played free of royalty. Persons inter- 
ested in dramatic books should examine our cat- •■ 
alogue before ordering elsewhere. 

We also carry a full line of grease paints, 
face powders, hair goods, and other **make-up" 
materials. 

The Dramatic Publishing Company 
CHICAGO 



